Piccolo and...Pokemon
by Cherry-Wan
Summary: Piccolo takes Gohan to see the Pokemon movie....


Authors Note: This was not meant as a jab at Pokemon! I love Pokemon, and I liked the movie too! This is meant to be a stupid fic, something that would never happen. This is in Piccolo's point of view and I don't think he would find the likes of cutesy Pikachu very interesting. And that comment about japanese anime wasn't meant in a mean way either. I was just trying to make with the funnies. I know that this story is very wrong, for one thing why would Dende be there? I don't know he just is! I needed another kid to go with them. WARNING: This contains spoilers about the Pokemon movie so if you havn't seen it yet you might not want to read this. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Piccolo and Pokemon?

"What?" Piccolo asked eyeing Gohan and Dende warily. 

"We want to go see the Pokemon movie! Will you take us Mr. Piccolo? Everyone else is busy, and today they're handing out free Pokemon cards!" Gohan said. 

"I've got better things to do," Piccolo said waving them off. Both Dende and Gohan's lower lips began to tremble. 

"Don't even think about it, I can't stand that noise!" Piccolo said. They burst into tears anyways. 

"BE QUIET!" Piccolo roared at them. That only made them cry harder. 

"Arghhhhh! I'll take you if you both shut up right now!" Piccolo said. The tears immediately stopped. 

"Really?" Gohan asked. 

"Yes, but if I hear so much as a sob out of you we are going home. Am I clear?" Piccolo growled. 

"Yes! Thank you!" they both cried. 

"We have to go now," Dende said tugging on Piccolo's pant leg. 

"But the movie doesn't start for another hour and a half," Piccolo said frowning. 

"Yeah but the line up is probably already a mile long!" he said. 

"Oh brother," Piccolo muttered. What had he gotten himself into? 

As Dende had predicted there was already many people waiting to get in. The line up moved at a snail's pace. When they finally moved forward it landed them in the middle of a huge puddle. Gohan and Dende began to splash around it laughing. They splattered water all over Piccolo. 

"STOP IT!" he yelled. The lady infront of them turned around and smacked Piccolo with her purse. 

"That is no way to talk to children!" she said scornfully and whirled back. Piccolo started to charge a ki blast but Gohan held him back. They moved forward another inch. 

"This is ridiculous, come on you two," Piccolo said and shoved his way up to the ticket booth, getting himself a lot of dirty looks. 

"Give me three tickets for the Poke thing Movie," he said. 

"Pokemon," Dende corrected him. 

"Whatever," Piccolo gritted his teeth. 

"I'm sorry sir but you'll have to get back in line. You may as well just come back tomorrow, we're almost sold out," the ticket seller said. Dende and Gohan each latched onto a leg and began to bawl. 

"But I wanna see it right now Piccolo!" Gohan sobbed. The sound grated on Piccolo's nerves. He grabbed the ticket seller and yanked the guy over the counter. 

"Look, I can't stand kids and I have two stuck on my legs making a hell of a lot of noise. Now before I do something you'll regret JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN TICKETS!" Piccolo screamed. The guy wisely decided to do what he said. 

"H-here you go sir, and here are your complimentary cards," he said quivering. Piccolo grabbed them and stalked off. Or tried to but Gohan and Dende were still clinging to his legs. 

"GET OFF!" Piccolo's patience was beginning to wear thin. They quickly leapt off and ran into the theater. It was already packed. 

"There's no seats left!" Gohan said deflating. 

"Oh yes there is," Piccolo said and yanked three kids out of their seats. 

"Hey! Those are our seats," they cried. 

"Mine now, go sit in the aisle," Piccolo snarled which sent them scampering off. He settled down in his seat and crossed his arms. 

"What did you get?" Gohan asked Dende. 

"Pikachu, how about you?" he said. 

"Dragonite," Gohan replied. A kid sitting in front of them turned around. 

"I got a MewTwo," he said smugly. 

"I'll trade you," Gohan said. 

"No way!" the kid said and laughed at Gohan. A tear rolled down his cheek, Piccolo tensed, Gohan sniffled, Piccolo squeezed his eyes shut and prayed, a sob escaped from Gohan's throat gradually growing into a full fledged whine. Piccolo picked up the other kid by his collar. 

"Put me down!" he said flailing around. 

"Give him the card," Piccolo replied. 

"No! Lemme go!" he cried. 

"I said give him the card!" Piccolo yelled. The kid whimpered and handed over the MewTwo. Piccolo dropped him back into his seat. 

"Gee thanks Mr. Piccolo!" Gohan exclaimed tears drying up. 

"Humph, a lot of fuss over a stupid piece of cardboard," Piccolo muttered. 

"I have to go to the bathroom," Dende spoke up. 

"So? Go then," Piccolo said. 

"I'm too scared to go by myself, will you come with me?" he asked sheepishly. 

"Can't Gohan go?" Piccolo asked tiredly. 

"No, I want you to come," Dende insisted. "Fine," Piccolo sighed and got up, "Kill anybody who tries to take our seats Gohan." The line up for the bathroom itself was pretty impressive. 

"I really have to go," Dende said. 

"Too bad, you have to wait," Piccolo told him. 

"No I mean I have to go NOW," Dende said urgently. Piccolo supressed the urge to hurt the nearest person. He looked around. 

"Piccolo..." Dende started. 

"Yeah hold on a sec, I'm thinking!" he told him. 

"Piccolo!" Dende cried crossing his legs. 

"WAIT!" Piccolo grabbed Dende, moved faster than he ever had before, got outside, and chucked the kid behind a bush. 

"I can't go out here!" Dende complained. 

"Why not?" Piccolo demanded. 

"What if somebody looks?" Dende asked. 

"Trust me, I'll kill anybody that comes within twenty feet of me right now," Piccolo growled. After Dende was finished they re-entered the theater. Nobody was in their seats, good thing too because by this point Piccolo was in a very bad mood. 

"Piccolo?" Gohan asked. 

"WHAT NOW?" he said irritably. 

"Can I get some popcorn?" he asked. Piccolo sighed again and tossed him some money. 

"Get me and Dende some water too, and I want change back from that!" he said. The sound of the excited kids waiting to see the movie was deafening. "Why is everyone so damn excited?" Piccolo wondered out loud looking around at all the kids. 

"Cause it's Pokemon!" Dende exclaimed. 

"What the hell are Pokemon anyways?" Piccolo asked him. 

"Um, well they're magical creatures that fight each other with special attacks," he explained. 

"What's so special about that? I fight people every day!" Piccolo said frowning. 

"Yeah but not like this! You'll see," Dende told him Gohan returned with the popcorn and water. 

"Where's the change?" Piccolo put his hand out. Gohan dropped a few coins into it. "I meant all of it," Piccolo said jingling the coins. 

"That is all of it," Gohan said handing him the water. 

"WHAT?" Piccolo exclaimed, "I gave you ten bucks!" 

"Yeah I know, the popcorn was seven dollars and it was two something for the waters," Gohan said trembling a little. 

"I thought water was supposed to be free?" Piccolo narrowed his eyes. 

"The water was free, I had to pay for the cups," Gohan explained and began stuffing popcorn into his mouth. Piccolo stared at the cup in his hand and shook his head. 

"Whatever," he muttered. These damn earthlings charged you for everything. Dende sipped his water, Piccolo chugged the whole thing. Then he crushed the cup and hucked it into the crowd, a muffled shout of surprise could be heard from somewhere near the front. 

"You shouldn't have done that Mr. Piccolo, if you saved the cup and took it back you could get a refund on it," Gohan said. Piccolo's eyes blazed. 

"Why didn't you tell me that BEFORE I threw it away?" he said exasperatedly. Gohan shrank back. 

"Sorry, I didn't know you were going to do that!" he said fearfully. Piccolo took several deep breaths and calmed himself. The curtains opened and the movie started sending the kids into a wild frenzy of clapping and shouting. Dende and Gohan cheered along with them. The movie began with the short film Pikachu's Vacation. Piccolo almost got up and left when he realized it was a cartoon, he'd been expecting something more like Mortal Kombat. He could've sat through that. 

"What's up with the animation on this thing?" he asked frowning at the screen. 

"It's called Japanese anime," Gohan informed him. 

"Geez that looks stupid, I'd kill anyone if they drew me like that!" Piccolo said. There were shushes from the people all around them. The kids all laughed at the stupid antics of the little creatures. Piccolo poked Dende. 

"I thought they were supposed to be fighting!" he whispered. 

"They only fight when they're masters command them too, right now they're on vacation in a park," Dende whispered back. Finally it was over. Then the main movie began called MewTwo Strikes Back. This one sounded a little better, they might actually see some violence. Throughout the movie Piccolo kept making comments like, "I could take on that Charizard with my eyes shut!" and "MewTwo's not so tough.". When Ash stepped inbetween MewTwo and Mew's aurora beam attacks during the final battle Piccolo snorted. 

"What a fool! He jumped right infront of that attack and got killed!" he said. Gohan blinked at him. 

"You did that before Mr. Piccolo, you saved my life," he reminded him. Piccolo gave him a sideways look. 

"That was different," he muttered and sat back in his seat. Gohan just smiled. The movie ended with some sappy lessons about not fighting and play nice and all that crap. 

"What a pathetic waste of time," Piccolo muttered to himself as the lights came back up. 

"Wow! I think that was the best movie I ever saw!" Dende declared. Gohan heartily agreed with him. Piccolo just shook his head in disgust and tried to avoid being trampled by the million kiddies leaving the theater. 

"Hey! My mom bought me the soundtrack yesterday! We can listen to it over and over in the car on the way home!" Gohan said. 

"Yeah and we can buy the movie when it comes out and watch it over and over!" Dende said enthusiastically. Piccolo felt a headache coming on...


End file.
